Can Telling the Truth Be Evil? [Excerpt by Lois Tverberg]

 

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(Excerpt from Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewish Words of Jesus Can Change Your Life by Lois Tverberg.)

 

Lashon Hara, aka Evil Tongue

What exactly is an "evil tongue"? [When the apostle Peter speaks of an "evil tongue" in 1 Peter 3:8-10, he's quoting Psalm 34:12–13.]

In Hebrew, lashon hara (lah-SHON ha-RAH) is the name that Judaism gives to all types of gossip, slander, and malicious speech...

 We all can see the wrongness of slander — telling lies about others. But believe it or not, we can also do great damage to others without lying. Lashon hara doesn't just include telling lies about others. In fact, this phrase is more commonly used to describe the practice of telling negative truths about others that are unnecessary and damaging.

 

Any sentence that starts with "She is a great person, but it's annoying when she..." is always going to end in lashon hara.

Lashon hara is recounting to your coworkers about how the boss messed up his presentation. It's pointing out to your wife how poorly the worship leader sings. It's complaining to your sister that your husband forgot your birthday yet again.

Any sentence that starts with "She's a great person, but it's annoying when she..." is always going to end in lashon hara. This habit tears down friendships, demeans others, and undermines trust... ["Sharing negative information is generally only permitted in situations where people may be adversely affected if they make a decision without it. For instance, if a friend is considering going into business with someone you know is dishonest." -From Lois's footnote.]

 

This sign in Jerusalem reads "Please no lashon hara." Image by Ranbar (cropped by Hidro) (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)...], via Wikimedia Commons.

 

If we genuinely care as much about others as ourselves, we will try to protect their reputations as much as we do our own.

We often justify our words with, "Well ... I didn't say anything untrue!" But the Golden Rule states that you shouldn't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. If you'd be hurt and embarrassed by having your own flaws revealed, you shouldn’t share those of others.

 

Why do we gossip about others? One major reason for lashon hara is our desire to elevate ourselves by tearing others down. Paul has a solution to this problem: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Philippians 2:3–4). If we genuinely care as much about others as ourselves, we will try to protect their reputations as much as we do our own.

 

Question for Discussion: When is it permissible to share information that would hurt someone's reputation? Leave your thoughts in a comment on this post.

 

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- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

(Images & some styling above are web-exclusive features not included in the text of Walking in the Dust... This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Comments

[Timothy Fish]

I suppose it partly depends on whether you have a good reason to tell your co-workers about your boss messing up or if you're just doing it to make him look bad. If your boss messing is going to mean that have to do a lot more work to correct for his mistake, I think they need to know about it. And if we look at Jesus as our example, he didn't pull his punches. He called some people snakes. He publically spoke of the the sin of the religious leaders of his day. Granted, there are things we shouldn't say, even if they are true, but there are also times when we need to just say it like it is.

[Adam Forrest (Zondervan employee)]

Timothy, good insights into the prudence needed when talking about a boss's mistakes. I see your point about how it's necessary to share info on mistakes that will affect others' lives.

It strikes me that a red flag would be, are we taking joy in talking about their mistake? As you may know, the Germans give us a great word for taking pleasure in another's misfortune - schadenfreude http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude .

Thanks for sharing! -Adam

[Valery]

We are not able to grow without knowing of our mistakes. So we need that some one showed them to us. It is not always we are able to see them ourself. And it is not easy for us when others show them us (our selfishness and proud are piqued). If we say about business, then we may discuss all together about what is rong with us to do something better. If we say about personal life or behaviour of some one from spiritual point of view, then we have to expose the deeds of darkness (Eph. 5:11). Of course, we have to have right spirit in that (see Gal. 6:1) and do this in right model (Mth. 18:15-18). Doing this we save the soul of that person from death (James 5:20).

[Brenda Miller]

To me, it seems reasonable to share information that could or would hurt another's reputation only if we are certain that the individual about whom we are sharing is committing an offence that is against the law, and especially if that offence is damaging to someone who cannot defend themselves, such as in the case of reporting child abuse, elder abuse, or spousal abuse. Otherwise, if we have a problem with someone, I believe it is best to speak to that individual in person and do our very best to speak the truth in love when doing so.

[Lois Tverberg]

I agree - it's important to share negative information if it impacts others. But often we gossip about others because we're angry or annoyed at them. We feel completely innocent and justified in revealing their flaws to others, but the real reason we do it is to damage the person's reputation.