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September 08, 2008

God Is Womb-Like

Throughout the Bible, God is described as compassionate. In Hebrew, the original language of the Scriptures, it's the word "raham." It's also the word for "womb." So, "God is compassionate" is "God is womb-like." This is a feminine image for God.

God is in essence beyond male and female ... God Transcends and yet includes what we know as male and female (see Genesis 1:27). So a man is created in the image of God and a woman is created in the image of God. There is a masculine dimension to God and there is a feminine dimension to God.

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by Flannel

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May 15, 2008

cultivating

God cultivates life from the very first pages in Genesis. He prepared the first Garden specifically for his two image bearers and then handed them the keys. He wanted them to cultivate the land that he had already cultivated for them. And God asked them to work with each other, having already begun a relationship with each of them. When they blew it, he kept cultivating. We botched up Eden, so he's cultivating another place for us: "In my Father's house are many dwelling places ... I go to prepare a place for you" (John 14:2).

God's constant efforts to make a place for us remind me of the women in my life: My Aunt Barb who lives in Pebble Beach who always sits me in the same special spot at her breakfast nook, my short grandmother who made "lechita" a glass of warm milk and molasses in the evenings, my tall grandmother who made me pearl tea (warm milk with sugar) and my mother who found the biggest and juiciest strawberries for me as a child. All these women bring me help and nourishment. These women are pictures of God to me. Just as these women are always tending, so God is tending each of us.

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by Jonalyn Grace Fincher

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May 12, 2008

rooted

In Sunday School, I was taught that El means God and Shaddai means Almighty. But the title means more than "All-powerful One." The first time God promises to make Abraham fruitful he identifies himself as El Shaddai. Job, a contemporary of Abram, says it is the breath of El Shaddai that gives him life. Isaac blesses Jacob with El Shaddai's blessing to make him fruitful. When Israel blesses Joseph he chooses a blessing of El Shaddai.

Interestingly, in a Hebrew lexicon, Shaddai comes from the root shad which means "female breast, or of woman, or of mother." One of the core names of God is rooted in a womanly activity. God is revealing that he can be accurately called one who nurses, who makes fruitful, who sustains. God is like a mother, like a woman. As El Shaddai sustains all aspects of life, he does it with all-mighty energy: cultivating the blessings, cultivating the curses, cultivating fertility and cultivating people. God is like mothers, but mothers are also like God. Mothers cultivate life like El Shaddai.

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by Jonalyn Grace Fincher

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May 10, 2008

quieted

One of my favorite Psalms is part of Songs of Ascents collection, sung as Israelites made their pilgrimages to and from Jerusalem. I imagine them singing it as they leave the weeks of feasting and resting, or as they gear up with anticipation for re-unions with friends and family, as they anticipate the shalom that comes from time with God.

"Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me." (Psalm 131:2)

Here, the psalmist uses a picture of the nursing relationship between a mother and her child to describe his—and all of Israel's—relationship to God. God is the mother who weans; they are the child who rest. But the first time I heard those lines from Psalm 131—I mean, the first time I really heard them, the first time I stopped to think about what they meant—well, I have to admit I was somewhat taken aback. God as a nursing mother? Well, yes. It turns out that the Psalmist's picture of God as a nursing mother is just one of the feminine metaphors we find in Scripture for God.

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by Jonalyn Grace Fincher

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April 13, 2008

influence

It's tough to fully realize the power of our influence. Some days we spend our time in hidden service—babysitting a grandchild, running errands, helping out with the daily busyness of life. During those times we may wonder about our "return on investment." Who really cares? Did anyone notice? Other moments in our days and weeks are more convincing of their significance—presenting a report, chairing a committee, praying with a gravely ill friend. During those times we know that we are needed and that what we are giving will bring results.

God gives vital capacities to each of us. Our job is to wake up to his giftings—fully and wholly—and invest them (see
Matthew 25:14-30). Our money, yes. Our faith, of course. But especially our influence over those in our lives.

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Devotion by
Elisa Morgan

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March 30, 2008

defined

When widowhood or anything else alters a woman's life, the center of her identity doesn't disintegrate, for she is not defined or redefined by circumstances, relationships, her resume, or public opinion. God defines her. If you looked up "woman" in God's dictionary, you’d find the definition he set down as he drew up the plans for the very first woman. He defined woman as follows: "Image bearer; created in God's image and likeness; called to be fruitful and multiply, to rule and subdue." It's the same kingdom definition he gave to the man.

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by Carolyn Custis James

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February 19, 2008

God and His Daughters

Carolyn Custis James by Carolyn Custis James

Throwing out a baby girl to die on the dung heap or burning a widow on her husband’s funeral pyre are among some of the most appalling value statements the world has ever made about women. Negative statements about women run from these extreme atrocities to milder, more polite forms. But they all belong to the same fallen value system. The Bible’s view of women rejects that entire system and introduces a whole new way of thinking. God’s views of his daughters and his large vision for their roles in his kingdom are on a collision course with the world’s view of women, and that collision is showcased in the book of Ruth.

In a way, the Ruth story reminds me of the prophet Elijah, who poured gallons of water on an altar he actually wanted God to ignite. To make sure no one missed the point of what God was doing, Elijah stacked the deck, so to speak, before he started to pray. The book of Ruth achieves a similar effect by juxtaposing God’s view of women against the harshest possible backdrop.

The story begins by taking us into the patriarchal culture — a world that advantages men by birth and automatically sends women to the back of the bus. But reducing women to second-class citizens isn’t nearly a dark enough setting for God to make his point. The situation gets much worse.

The two women God selects as Exhibits A and B are thrown off the bus. A series of tragedies, deaths, and disappointments evict Naomi and Ruth from hearth and home — the one sphere a woman could count on for safety and purpose. No longer wives or mothers, they are cast out on their own, stranded in a culture that works against them, deprived of tools, resources, and opportunities they need to get back on their feet. Ground zero is their home address.

Although the ancient Israelite culture didn’t burn widows alive, it was still a brutal environment for the disconnected woman. Widows were discarded as though they didn’t exist. Had these two widows lived in a culture that observed sati, both women would have perished in the flames. Instead, they lived as outcasts in circumstances far worse than sati according to a Vrindavan widow who knew what she was talking about. Against this blackened canvas, God splashes the vivid colors of a totally different view of women. Instead of losing interest in these two useless widows, he makes them the center of attention.

Instead of erasing them from his story as noncontributors, he colors them into mission-critical roles. These were the dark days when the judges governed. God’s chosen people were losing their way. God’s strategy involves recruiting two women to carry his redemptive purposes forward into the future. Ruth and Naomi do not let him down. With all of the heady things that were going on at the time — in palace throne rooms, at city gates, and on international battlefields — Ruth and Naomi capture the headlines.

These women are Yahweh’s image bearers. Even their ordinary activities are laden with significance. They represent his interests in this world and a lot is riding on what they do at this crucial juncture in Israel’s history. What looks from their vantage point as simple acts of loving and caring for one another will actually take on cosmic proportions. They labor and sacrifice to bring blessing to each other, and simultaneously bring blessing to the world.

As a quick aside, it’s worth noting that God did not raise up women because there was a shortage of capable men — an explanation we often hear that’s intended to qualify what God is doing through women. But that doesn’t apply here. Bethlehem is not suffering from a vacuum of male leadership. To the contrary, Bethlehem boasts at least one man (and probably more) who epitomized everything you’d ever hope to find in a godly male leader. Boaz has a strong reputation as a leader. His subsequent actions prove he is a man of action and a masterful leader, not the kind of man to shirk responsibility or retreat from a challenge. God could easily have chosen to work through men. He chose two women instead.

The miracle birth of Obed [King David’s grandfather] is truly the most joyful moment in the book, hailed by the women who celebrate with Naomi. This child renews Naomi’s life. Instead of the dead end she had reached, Obed creates for Naomi a brand-new opening into the future and a vital new kingdom assignment. Naomi would be poorly equipped to do the job of raising the king’s grandfather with an untested faith and a shallow knowledge of God that was derived from hearing the Scriptures read in corporate worship and picking up secondhand information about him from other believers. She can’t coast on Elimelech’s theology either or the teachings of her parents. Vital as all these other resources and influences are, Naomi’s participation in kingdom building is seriously impaired if she doesn’t know God for herself.

She has to experience him, not just learn about him. That means walking with him through storms, adversities, disappointments, and losses. For Naomi, it involved spending time at ground zero — getting angry, feeling betrayed, abandoned, and forgotten. She had to ask the hard questions, cope with unanswered prayers, and endure countless sleepless nights filled with doubts, fears, and anxieties. She had to find God’s hesed [kindness] in the middle of the mess. The dark night of the soul is an awful place to be, but that’s where God trains his best warriors. Although Naomi looked and felt as if her life was being dismantled and she was being put out of action, God was actually raising her up and equipping her for a mission-critical assignment in his kingdom.

The Gospel of Ruth

No psalm bears the name Naomi as the lyricist. But traces of her theology are scattered all through the psalms of David, for it is certain that Naomi’s influence reached the sweet psalmist of Israel, whose theological roots can be traced through his father, Jesse, to his grandfather, Obed, the child Naomi holds in her arms. Obed learned deep lessons about God at the knee of this female Job. Ellen F. Davis captures the scene: “The book ends in a way that we do not expect. Boaz and our heroine Ruth are gone from sight, a clear indication that this book is finally something other than a romance. In the end, only the old woman is left, holding the child who is her future and that of her people.”

The birth of Obed is a picture of the gospel — suffering and sacrifice, the joy of renewed life, and hope for the future all mingled together. This is the Gospel of Ruth.

From The Gospel of Ruth by Carolyn Custis James


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June 19, 2007

We Need to Dream

Ginny Olson by Ginny Olson

Sometimes, when a girl is dissatisfied with her identity or has low self-esteem, she’ll seek to hide her true self behind a mask of a false self. She may wear the mask of “perfection,” striving to perform at unrealistic levels in all that she does: the essay must be flawless, the speech must get an A, the competition must be won, or the room must be spotless. Anything less than perfect means she’s to blame. She forgets that no one is perfect, and that God loves her for who she is, not for what she does.

A girl might put on the mask of “the good girl.” This is similar to the mask of perfection, except “perfection” focuses on tasks while this mask focuses on relationships. She must always win the approval of others—especially those in authority—even if it means losing her own self-approval. She avoids conflict, even to the point of denying her beliefs because it may cause a rift in the relationship. She goes the extra mile because that’s what a “good Christian girl” does. She operates without concern for her own emotional, spiritual, or physical well-being. The worst thing someone can say to someone wearing this mask is, “I’m so disappointed in you.” Those words can devastate her. For her, Romans 3:23 is a daily reality. Everyone may have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but her sin is worse. That’s why she must work so hard for approval. She wonders if she’ll ever get the approval and affirmation she needs. She doesn’t understand that God’s grace and love are free for the asking.

She may wear the mask of “strong girl” when she wants to communicate that she’s tough and confident. When she wears this mask, her feelings of inadequacy and insecurity are hidden. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t feel lonely, doesn’t need anyone else’s help. She’s FINE. When a girl wears this mask, she becomes Leah—covering up her pain over not being chosen and needing to be loved. But she forgets that Hannah sobbed her heart out over not having a child; that Esther was terrified at having to take a stand; that Ruth must have felt horribly lonely after leaving the place where she grew up; and that the woman who was bleeding for so many years felt such desperation that she would reach out and touch God in public, just for the chance to be healed.

Teenage Girls

These and other masks can hide an adolescent girl’s true self. The difference between wearing these masks and trying on identities is that wearing a mask is all about gaining other people’s approval for our identities rather than our own approval. When a teenage girl is trying on a mask, she’s seeing if someone else likes her better with it on, and she’ll hide her true self behind it. But when she’s trying on an identity, she’s testing to see if she likes who she is: Is this a part of her persona that she hasn’t realized yet? Does this feel authentic to her or not? This isn’t an easy process, and there can be pain and confusion as she wrestles with who she is and who she’s becoming. It’s difficult for her to realize that her identity is constantly forming. It’s not to be “achieved;” it’s a process.

As youth workers, it’s crucial that we surround girls with positive messages about who they are and who they can become. They sometimes need us to dream with them about what God envisions for their lives. I was having coffee with Tessa one day, and we were talking about her life. Tessa had a rough time growing up. Her father abandoned her, teachers overlooked her, and the local church was absent in her family’s life.

I’d known Tessa for quite a while. She’s a remarkable young woman. Even with all the negative forces she’d dealt with growing up, she survived. She’s amazingly gifted and could choose a number of paths in life; we talked about those. What if she became a lawyer and advocated for abandoned children? What if she became a doctor and worked with the disenfranchised? What if she became a pastor and reached out to girls like her? Any of those were viable options for her.

As we were leaving the diner at the end of our conversation, she stopped me. “Can we do this again sometime? I’ve never had anyone dream with me before.” We need to dream with our girls, helping them envision identities that are grounded in Scripture and developed in God’s love.

From Teenage Girls: Exploring Issues Adolescent Girls Face and Strategies to Help Them by Ginny Olson

July 18, 2006

Going with the Flow

Elisa Morgan by Elisa Morgan

We tend to believe that we should be in control at every moment, and that if we are, all the big and little things of life will run smoothly. John and Stasi Eldredge write, “We believe that in order to have the life we want, we must take matters into our own hands.”

Ha! That’s like a dream ... and then we get up in the morning and face reality.

Exactly. The myth that we can make life work by being in control gives way to the reality that most of life is beyond our control. Trying to take charge of all events in life only leads to frustration and despair.

The reality is that life has a life of its own. Take children, for instance. Babies spit up on you just as you’re ready to walk out the door. Toddlers wet their training pants three weeks after you thought they’d mastered toilet training. Kindergartners shyly hang back from their mothers on the first day of school, even though they’ve been impatiently checking off the days on a calendar for the past month.

Besides children, there is the everyday stuff of life that refuses our commands. Cars stall in traffic. Lines are long at the store. Three bills arrive on the same day. A filling breaks in a tooth. The milk spoils. A button pops off a shirt.

And then there is the unexpected. Your father has a heart attack. Your sister is in a bad car accident. Your husband needs knee surgery and is laid up for a month.

How do we handle the shattering of this myth of control? Apply a strong dose of practical action.

The Serenity Prayer, popular for overcoming many addictions, also speaks powerfully to the world of the mother of preschoolers. In those unforgettable words of Reinhold Neibuhr:

God, grant me the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, Courage to change what should be changed, And the wisdom to know the difference.

What Every Mom Needs

Moms who give over control to God report peace and rest. Deal with the myth that life can be controlled before you lose your perspective and sanity. Relinquish your attempts to control life, as this mom describes, “I’m up to my elbows in laundry, the phone is ringing, my toddler is spilling a box of cereal on the floor, the cat just puked on my freshly cleaned carpet, and as I bend down to clean it all up, I find a bill that slipped under the couch that needed to be paid yesterday. In stressful crazy days like that, usually my last thought is how God has planned my day. Since I’ve forgotten that, I freak out, stressing about how I’m going to have to figure it all out.”

So many of us borrow burdens from others. We decide we’re responsible for a friend’s happiness, for a child’s health, for a husband’s fulfillment.

Dr. Marianne Neifert, otherwise known as “Dr. Mom,” admits candidly, “I can say: God didn’t put all that stuff in my sack. When I looked inside, I saw my ambition, need for other people’s approval, perfectionism. Those things were put there by me. That’s why my sack was too heavy.”

Along these same lines, A. J. Russell, in his book God Calling, suggests that stress results from carrying two days’ burdens in one day. His words echo those of Jesus: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

From What Every Mom Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall

June 09, 2006

What You Have to Offer Matters

Lynne Hybels by Lynne Hybels

From the time I was a little girl I was drawn to those living in poverty, and I went to college to become a social worker. When we started Willow Creek, my dream was for our church to become a community of people radically committed to compassion and justice. I served in our first ministry partnerships in the inner city of Chicago and went on some of our first serving trips to Latin America. I lived in an affluent suburb, but sitting in a squalid shanty town in Mexico passing out canned peaches to little barefoot kids was really where I felt most at home and most alive.

But whenever my involvement in ministry seemed to inconvenience Bill or the kids, or in any way kept me from living up to other people’s expectations—which it always did—then I withdrew, backed out, quit. When I felt frustrated, or even angry, about having to do that, I confessed my sin, my selfishness, my demanding spirit.

I thought that was the right thing to do. I thought denying my gifts and passions was part of what it meant to “die to self,” as Scripture requires. I didn’t realize there was a difference between dying to self-will and dying to the self God created me to be.

Yes, we must live according to the ebb and flow of life’s seasons, and our movement between ministry within the home and beyond the home must shift according to the needs of those seasons. I think this is true for both men and women, both fathers and mothers.

And yes, there is a necessary sacrifice—a suffering even—that is part of the life of every servant of Jesus. We need to ask for grace and strength to endure these challenges.

But...

If year after year our lives are consumed with activities we’ve been neither gifted nor impassioned to do, and we never have a chance to slide into the sweet spot of giving out of our true self, we pay a higher price in ministry than God is asking us to pay. And the saddest thing is, when we allow this to happen, nobody wins.

I thought I was sacrificing parts of myself for the sake of others, but you know what?

Bill didn’t win. He married me, in part, because he fell in love with the confidence, competence, and energy for life and ministry he saw in me. But decades of ignoring, neglecting, and denying my true gifts and passions had drained me of the very vitality he had been drawn to, and left me feeling incompetent and insecure—not at all the person Bill hoped to share his life with. So my husband didn’t win.

Nice Girls Don't Change the World

Our kids didn’t win. They got a very devoted, conscientious mother, who picked up after them, made sure they got their homework done, and took them wherever they needed to go without complaining. They got a mother who adored them, prayed for them, always wanted the best for them. But they didn’t get a joyful mother. They didn’t get a fun mother. They didn’t get to see, up close and personal, a woman fully alive in God.

My church did not win. It was clear our church needed Bill. He has been an extraordinary pastor. I never wanted to hinder what he could offer to our church, and I certainly don’t want to now. But my church needed me too, not because I am anything special but simply because it is where God put me, and God put me there for a reason. God gave me a unique perspective and worthy dreams. God gave me words and influence to use for good. But I didn’t use them. I didn’t show up. I might have been there physically, but my gifts—my soul—didn’t show up. I didn’t value what I had to offer enough to actually offer it.

What about you? Are you showing up?

I hope you realize how much your family, your friends, your church, your community, and this world need you. Don’t allow who you truly are to be lost, buried, or devalued. What is in you matters. What is most truly you matters. You have learned lessons, experienced pain, known joys, and gained a perspective nobody else has. You have an answer to the world’s needs that is yours alone.

Whether God has called you to set up shop in a big corner office or at your kitchen table; to minister to large groups or to one person in need; to give forty hours a week or to be responsive to unexpected moments here and there; what you have to offer matters.

From Nice Girls Don't Change the World by Lynne Hybels