Zondervan Inspire

Children Need to Feel Precious

Kids long to feel special, the kind of feeling that comes straight from a parent's heart. Not as a result of performance. Not for physical appearance. Not earned at all. Children need to feel precious, prized, valued, or cherished — you pick the term — by mom or dad solely because they're kids and because kids are worth treasuring.

To be treasured for no definable reason, though, might be a difficult concept for kids to understand. After all, their lives are constantly quantified by grades, athletic ability, percentile ranks, and a society sold out to the belief that beautiful means better. That's unfortunate, but it's reality. To combat this reality requires parents to reinforce the message "I treasure you" with two key techniques: deliberateness and repetition.

From Words Kids Need to Hear: To Help Them Be Who God Made Them to Be

by David Staal

Any comments or testimonies today?

The Greatest Example of Parental Commitment

Our Heavenly Father clearly articulates his commitment to stick with me and you too. We can look to his words as the greatest example of parental commitment: "God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'" (Hebrews 13:5). His message to us: You can count on me.

Let's send that same message to our kids.

From Words Kids Need to Hear: To Help Them Be Who God Made Them to Be

by David Staal

Any comments or testimonies today?

The Journey to Deep Connection

Dad talks need to be conversations, cover all kinds of topics (see Proverbs 23 for ideas), and take place frequently. As such, they can provoke laughter, tears, hugs, and high-fives. Father-son conversations should be lifelong dialogues, where short and simple parent-to-child check-ins mature into a delightful exchange between deeply connected men.

If you have a son or know some other younger man whom you can influence for God, take a cue from Solomon. This young man needs to know he can trust you with his heart. For that to happen, you need to trust him with your heart.

From New Men's Devotional Bible 

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Above All Else

No matter how hard I try, I cannot completely shelter my child from evil in this world. My son is sure to encounter deep hatred and even cruelty, through no fault of his own. It is also certain that he will himself become entangled in sin to some degree, since the same poison lurks within us all. On top of this—if Tolkien and the apostle Paul are correct—there are unspeakably evil entities, the real Black Riders, that already hate Bailey, though he has done nothing to provoke them. And they are intent on enticing him to become an agent of evil as they are.

With this realization I resolved to emphasize my kids' moral-spiritual training above all else. Nothing can compare to the importance of training my kids to be wise—to understand God and his ways and to live accordingly (see Proverbs 22:6).

From Gum, Geckos, and God: A Family's Adventure in Space, Time, and Faith 

by James S. Spiegel

Any comments or testimonies today?

The School of Hard Knocks

Each generation must learn how to deal with the hard realities of its own era, because these realities are some of the main instruments God uses to modify and change our character. Our adult children are in the midst of having to learn valuable lessons about God and life, but they will learn only if we are willing to let them grow up and face their own issues. It's not that we do not love our children enough to give to them; we surely do. No, the crux of the matter is this: Can we learn to love our children enough to let them solve their own issues by letting them experience the natural consequences of their decisions? Can we be tough enough to set firm boundaries for our children and let them experience the pain and problems of natural consequences instead of stepping in and protecting them or bailing them out?

From Boomers on the Edge: Three Realities That Will Change Your Life Forever 

by Terry Hargrave

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A Secret Relationship Ingredient

Grandparents with close relationships to kids, church small group leaders who enjoy strong rapport with their teams, and that incredible Girl Scout leader whom everyone loves all share a common secret ingredient: they don't merely watch fun happen, they enthusiastically engage in it. The lesson we can learn from them? Sometimes we need to create the activities, other times we simply need to jump into a child's world.

From Words Kids Need to Hear: To Help Them Be Who God Made Them to Be

by David Staal

Any comments or testimonies today?

Love Chose Us

Fatherhood caused love in me. Observing my child caused love in me; observing, moreover, my child in his fresh innocence caused love in me.

God, on the other hand, loved first; loved completely before choosing fatherhood. Love chose us. Love caused fatherhood, sui generis, of itself alone. Love found its object and thereby made it (made us) belovely.

From Father and Son: Finding Freedom

by Walter Wangerin Jr.

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listen

A child frequently needs for a parent to set aside the temptation to instruct or give advice in favor of simply sharing in the moment at hand: a moment that offers a reason to cheer, to laugh, to cry—and always to listen. Your child will see these reactions as tangible expressions that she can count on you to understand the circumstances she is dealing with. Sometimes the words kids really need to hear are those they say to a parent willing to listen.

From Words Kids Need to Hear: To Help Them Be Who God Made Them to Be

by David Staal

Any comments or testimonies today?

loving

Parental loving may be explained in terms general enough to embrace every sort of child. Yes. But the miracle of our realistic and individual lovings is that each actual relationship—each outpouring from a mother's or a father's watchful heart into the hearts of each of their children—conforms to the character of that child.

Even so is the quality of the love of the God who declares himself "Father" for each (and each, and each) of the individual persons walking the earth, both past and present. That love knows us all. Embraces us all, equally, everywhere, everywhen, at once. That love may also be known by us all, as smooth as the cobalt sky. Unique is every one of the Father's lovings for every one of his children. Nevertheless, he is the same from everlasting to everlasting, one God, one Creator, unchanging heart to heart, the Lover of us all.

From Father and Son: Finding Freedom

by Walter Wangerin Jr.

Any comments or testimonies today?

sense

When and how much is it appropriate to play the "trust me" card as a parent? If you don't do it at all and try to explain your reasoning behind every rule, you'll go bonkers, not to mention undermine your authority as a parent. Sometimes kids really do need to take your word for it that they are unable to understand something or that it isn't appropriate for them to know. But if you do it too much, you'll come off as dictatorial and lose out on opportunities to show your children that the rules are not arbitrary but logical. Besides, showing your kids the good sense behind certain rules has a way of strengthening the force of the "trust me" card whenever you do play it.

From Gum, Geckos, and God: A Family's Adventure in Space, Time, and Faith

by James S. Spiegel

Any comments or testimonies today?