Dreaming Big—A Fathers Day Essay by David Jacobsen
“I’m almost as big as Josh!” reports Nicholas, an observation that elicits gales of laughter from the gathered grown-ups. That’s because my son Nicholas is three, and while he’s a getting taller by the day, he’s not quite as large as our good friend Josh, a strapping plumber who stands well over six feet and looks like Mr. Clean.
Since our second son, Sam, was born, Nicholas has been obsessed with measuring his own growth. The fact that he dwarfs his baby brother has given him a new appreciation for how huge his own three-foot frame really is.
Such knowledge gives him unbridled confidence. Dragging a chair across the living room means that he’s “really strong” and reaching the phone on the kitchen counter means that he’s “really tall.”
But no matter how outlandish Nicholas’s self-assessments are, he has a knack for living up to them. When he hollers that he can carry a gallon of milk from the car to the fridge, I catch myself heading over help—only to discover that he’s already made it to the kitchen.
Nicholas often assumes he can do something—and his subsequent efforts prove he can.
What’s true for Nicholas is true for me. When I feel weighed down by doubts and fears, perhaps what I need is a dose of three-year-old confidence. If I see my neighbor volunteering at the local school, I tend to focus on how small I am—I can barely summon the energy to play with my kids, let alone help out a bunch of other kids.
But suppose I channel my inner three-year-old and exclaim, “I’m as big as my neighbor!” That may not be true—not yet—but the beauty is that it could be. If I assume I can be as loving and as full of grace, I start to act like that’s true. I start to prove it.
Our children constantly stretch for things that were out of reach the day before. So often we give up on wanting to grow. Instead, let’s dream big. Let’s make some audacious claims—I’m almost as big as Josh!—and start to act like they’re true.
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David Jacobsen is the author of Rookie Dad: Thoughts on First-Time Fatherhood. He lives with his wife, Christine, and two young sons in Bend, Oregon. You can contact him at rookiedad@gmail.com.
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