Zondervan Blog

How to Deal with Toxic Words [Excerpt by Craig Groeschel]

 

Excerpt from Craig Groeschel's Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World.

 

Craig Groeschel

Words can devastate. Your body may remain unharmed, but your heart suffers the deadly shrapnel of painful phrases. David, who knew a thing or two about having enemies in high places, wrote that evildoers "sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows" (Ps. 64:3). Whether you're eighteen or eighty, you can probably recall the pain of someone's harsh words scalding your soul. Maybe you still hear the message from years ago, playing an endless loop in your mind, echoing inside you every day:

 

"You'll never amount to anything."
"I wish I never had you."
"You're nothing like your brother."
"I'm sick of you."
"I never loved you."
"You'll never change."

 

As devastating as these words can be, they can be offset by words of truth, hope, and love...

 

[Don't Believe Everything You Hear]

Countless times a day, when it comes to what you hear and say, you have choices to make. When you hear the words of others, you can choose to receive them as truth or reject them as lies. And every time you open your mouth to utter a word, you have the opportunity to speak life or the temptation to take it. Think back through the past few days. When you spoke to others, what did they hear? Either you aimed sharp, poison-tipped darts at their hearts, or you injected them with life-giving, God-honoring booster shots.

 

Several passages in the Bible clearly contrast the difference. Proverbs says, "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (12:18). What are reckless words? They're the shards of glass you hurl in the heat of an argument. They're the words you know you'll regret as soon as they've left your tongue. They're the bitter, painful, cancerous messages that leave people sick and hurting...

 

What are the phrases etched in your memory that have shaped your life? If you are like most people, you can recall several of the many toxic phrases that have been directed at you. They could have been innocent: "Did you mean to do that to your hair?" "Why aren't you married yet?" "I thought you would do much better than that." Or perhaps the words were intended to pierce your heart like a poison dagger... My hope is that you can also remember life-giving words spoken to you at the precise moment you needed them...

 

Take out the Trash

We obviously can't control what others say about us, but we can control what we believe.

We obviously can't control what others say about us, but we can control what we believe. Since toxic words can destroy our souls, we've got to passionately guard our hearts against them. Do whatever it takes to keep the poison out of your heart. Solomon told his son, "Listen closely to my words ... Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" [Prov. 4:20, 23, emphasis Groeschel's]. With his life-giving words, a protective father warned his son to guard his heart as his life source. We must keep others from dumping their toxic waste into our water supply.

 

Delete toxic words and insert the truth.

When someone says something to or about you, train yourself to categorize the words the same way we train our kids with a game our friends taught us, Truth or Trash. Analyze the message and source before swallowing and digesting what someone else wants to feed you. Are their words true? Based in Scripture? Supported by data over time? If so, embrace them. Allow those life-giving words to minister to your soul and conform you to the image of Christ. If their words are untrue, mean-spirited, and critical without being constructive, then call them what they are — toxic waste. Reject those words. Don't let them into your soul. Take out the trash and leave it by the curb. Delete toxic words and insert the truth.

- Craig Groeschel

 

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Learn more about Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World.

 

Suggested Posts

"That's Just the Way I Am" and Other Self-Deceptions via Craig Groeschel
Can Telling the Truth be Evil? via Lois Tverberg

 

(Some styling above is web-exclusive and not included in the text of Soul Detox.This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

What if God was Your Best Friend? [Excerpt by Wes Yoder]

 

Excerpt from Wes Yoder's Bond of Brothers: Connecting with Other Men Beyond Work, Weather and Sports (eBook). 

 

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If it is entirely true — and it is — that God, who now lives within me, knows all my thoughts and loves me anyway, I have to say two things: God suddenly has become my best friend, and perhaps he was all along the way.

I can fear his friendship, which I will do if I do not believe he is good, or I can welcome him and start living an unbelievable life with a new partner and friend.

He knows all my sorrows and everything else within me. His Spirit is the searchlight that knows and sees all. And his Spirit makes of my life a light that illuminates dark places so others can find their way.

So imagine what might happen if both you and your wife have the same best friend — God — and quit hoping you won't disappoint each other because you know and accept that you will, and because you know your best friend will be there to help you sort out the mess.

Your life would be different, and perhaps you, too, would have a hard time remembering why you thought you needed [a legalistic and perfectionistic] religion when you have a perpetual invitation to enjoy a relationship with God.

- Wes Yoder

Abraham fellowships with the LORD in Genesis 18. Also see John 15:15

 

Q: How would your life change if you considered God your friend? Share your comments on this post.

-Adam Forrest, Zondervan

 

Learn More

Learn more about Bond of Brothers (eBook)

 

Other Posts You May Like

Kneeling before the King via Wes Yoder
Build a Fire: Manhood that's Honest, Strong, and ... Weak? via Wes Yoder

 

(Some styling above is a web-exclusive feature not included in the text of Bond of Bros. Image attribution: "Abraham and Three Angels" by Rembrandt, c. 1646 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Navigating the Rough Road of Doubt: Interview with Author Andrea Palplant Dilley

 

Are you (or someone you know) going through a season of spiritual doubt? I highly recommend you pick up Andrea Palplant Dilley's new memoir, Faith and Other Flat Tires: Searching for God on the Rough Road of Doubt.

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In our interview Andrea shares how we can navigate seasons of intense doubt; how we can support others who struggle with doubt; and how doubts can ultimately lead to a stronger and more vital faith. -Adam Forrest, Zondervan

 

ZBLOG: Your book title is Faith and Other Flat Tires, so I have to ask: How is faith like a flat tire?

ANDREA: Faith—at least my experience of faith—is fragile. It's flawed and breakable. I don't think I'm alone in my experience, either. Many of us go through phases in our spiritual life where that "faith tire" that was moving us along the road at a strong, fast clip seems to go flat suddenly and leave us stranded. We need help. We need fresh air, so to speak. For me, that faith tire went flat for about two years while I took a hiatus from the church. This book tells the story of how I got back on the road and learned to live with my doubts as part of my ongoing faith journey.

 

ZBLOG: People sometimes ask you what you would have changed about your upbringing. You write,

They want to know what would have kept me inside the church when I wanted to step outside. (Subtext: What might they do to keep their kids inside the faith?) I tell them, "Nothing."

So what do you recommend to someone who's watching a loved one struggle with their faith?

Andrea Palplant Dilley

ANDREA: When I was going through my skeptic phase as a teenager, my parents couldn't do anything to stop me. But they did the only thing anybody can do—they were present to my pilgrimage. So for those who have kids or other loved ones going through a period of doubt, I would recommend the same: Be present. Walk with that person. Listen to them. Hear their doubts and affirm their search. Keep the dialogue going. Share your heart, but in a loving way that doesn't push that person further out on the margins.

 

ZBLOG: You once told a class of philosophy students, "It's better to struggle as an active thinker than to become a passive Christian." What did you mean by "passive Christian"? And do you stand behind that statement today?

An Unlikely Evangelist: What D. L. Moody's Life Demonstrates about Prayer & the Spirit [Excerpt by Jim Cymbala]

 

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Excerpt from Jim Cymbala's new book Spirit Rising: Tapping into the Power of the Holy Spirit.

 

When God's Spirit moves, his purposes are revealed and accomplished in ways that no committee, personality test, or computer program could ever figure out.

 

D. L. Moody is a great example of that. No one ever would have expected him to be one of the greatest evangelists of all time. Moody was initially a shoe salesman and basically uneducated. He was a short, overweight man and not very good-looking. He had a slight speech impediment and a rapid-fire delivery when he spoke.

From a cartoon of D. L. Moody, dated 1875.

 

After he became a Christian, he started working with children on the streets of Chicago, working with the YMCA, and later handing out tracts during the Civil War. Though he never went to seminary, his work bore fruit, and eventually he was invited to England to preach.

 

While he was there, well-trained, velvet-tongued pastors sat in amazement at his preaching. Many of their churches were dead, and the kingdom wasn't being extended. But along came Moody, and the crowds followed. Despite his limitations, God’s blessing was evident. The guy couldn’t even pronounce Daniel correctly. He said Dan'l. And more difficult names like Nebuchadnezzar? Not even close.

 

A man known only by Mr. Reynolds once described the first time he met Moody:

The first meeting I ever saw him at was in a little old shanty that had been abandoned by a saloon-keeper. Mr. Moody had got the place to hold the meeting in at night. I went there a little late: and the first thing I saw was a man standing up, with a few tallow candles around him, holding [a young African-American boy], and trying to read to him the story of the Prodigal Son; and a great many of the words he could not make out, and had to skip. I thought, If the Lord can ever use such an instrument as that for his honor and glory, it will astonish me. After that meeting was over, Mr. Moody said to me, "Reynolds, I have got only one talent: I have no education, but I love the Lord Jesus Christ, and I want to do something for Him: and I want you to pray for me." I have never ceased from that day to this, morning and night, to pray for that devoted Christian soldier.

In a sense, Moody was nearly semiliterate. I once saw a letter written by Moody that was reproduced in Love Them In: The Life and Theology of D. L. Moody, by Stanley N. Gundry. Any sixth grader could do better. There were no capital letters, and commas and periods were few and far between. He would have been laughed at today when we judge ministry by slickness of delivery style and not by spiritual power. Yet this man preached to millions of people with no sound system and became one of the best-known evangelists in the history of Christianity. He led thousands to the Lord and went on to found three schools and a university.

 

We're not all called to be a D. L. Moody. But regardless of how we're set apart, it is God's responsibility to equip us... Sometimes the work encompasses world-changing missions, such as that of Moody. At other times, the work is much more personal and closer to home...

 

[Get off the Sidelines with the Spirit's Power]

Just as each member of the human body functions differently from the others, the Spirit energizes each of us in the body of Christ to fulfill God's purpose. Without the Spirit's power being exercised, we tend to sit on the sidelines, inactive and unfulfilled. Worse, we are tempted to critique those actually "in the game" trying to proclaim Christ and serve his people. Anyone can criticize the efforts of another believer, but at the judgment seat of Christ, we will answer for ourselves only, not another...

 

Christ didn't die on the cross so that we would spend our time as Christians on earth merely sitting around waiting for his return. Jesus said, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few" (Matt. 9:37). The reason for the shortage today is that too few are yielded to the Spirit whom Christ sent to us. But there's still time, and we have a patient, merciful Savior on our side.

 

Who knows how God can use you if you step out in faith and let the Holy Spirit take control? We're not called to be spectators watching from the stands as the prince of darkness goes about to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Jesus said there is a shortage of workers, but the actual work will be done by God's Spirit through you and me doing things beyond our wildest imagination. It all begins when you offer yourself to serve.

 

And then we can pray the prophet Isaiah's prayer, "Here am I. Send me!" (Isa. 6:8).

- Jim Cymbala (@jimcymbala)

 

Learn More

Learn more about Spirit Rising

More Posts You May Like

Will God Help Imperfect People? via Jim Cymbala
Power from Heaven via Jim Cymbala 

 

(Image & some styling above are web-exclusive features not included in the text of Spirit Rising. Image attribution: "Prayer and Praise," a Vanity Fair "Spy" Print of D.L. Moody, dated April 3, 1875; courtesy darvillsrareprints.com. This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

 

Then, on Sunday...