Zondervan Blog

"29 Days to Great Sex" Blog Series by Sheila Wray Gregoire

 

Today author Sheila Wray Gregoire launched her "29 Days to Great Sex" blog series. Over the next 28 days, Sheila will blog a new tip each day that will help married couples "make sex stupendous."

Sheila kicked off the series with her post, "Day 1: The Act of Marriage." Here's an excerpt:

Sex is the acting out of everything that marriage is. We become vulnerable with one another. We become naked with one another completely — and that means real intimacy, not just physical intimacy. We cherish each other. We protect each other. But we also have a ton of fun with each other! ... [One problem] is that when we do finally get married and commit to someone, we almost stop having sex. Or at least we have it rather infrequently. In surveys I took for my book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I found that 40% of couples made love less than once a week. We’re just not connecting that often. So the "act of marriage," that act that can be so wonderful, and so fun, and so significant, often isn't even happening. Or maybe for you it is happening, but it just doesn't feel that great. You can't figure out what all the fuss is about, and you're worried that it was created for everyone but you...

 

I recommend you read more of the post. Then subscribe to Sheila's blog to receive the rest of the series in your email inbox.

 

Visit Gregoire's blog and subscribe to receive her new posts.

 

Learn more about The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: And You Thought Bad Girls Had all the Fun by Sheila Gregoire. (@sheilagregoire).

Learn More

- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

 

(This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

Rebels for Positive Change [Excerpt by Ben Carson]

 

Learn More

(Excerpt by Ben Carson, from America the Beautiful: Rediscovering What Made This Nation Great. // It's sobering to realize some of Carson's encounters with racism are less than 45 years old. Perhaps the closeness of these events can also encourage us; while change is often slow, imagine the transformation we could see in our lifetimes if we become "rebels for positive change." - Adam Forrest, Zondervan)

Does America have its flaws? Absolutely... [But] one of America's most respected legacies is indeed that of rebelling for change.

 

My Road to Change

I grew up in inner-city Detroit and Boston at the tail end of one of [the] dark periods in America's history. Slavery had long been abolished, but widespread racism remained. The civil rights movement was on the verge of completely transforming the social landscape, but such change often comes slowly. And today, decades later, I can still pinpoint the moment when I came of age regarding racism in America.

 

Franklin Park is where Ben Carson "came of age regarding racism in America."

 

My brother and I were playing in Franklin Park in the Roxbury section of Boston when I wandered away alone under a bridge, where a group of older white boys approached me and began calling me names.

 

'Let's drown him in the lake.'

"Hey, boy, we don't allow your kind over here," one of them said. He looked at the others. "Let's drown him in the lake." I could tell they weren't just taunting me, trying to scare me. They were serious, and I turned and ran from there faster than I had ever run before in my life...

 

Constant Reminders

Growing up, we faced constant reminders of how we were less important than white people. Even some of those who claimed to be civil rights activists could be heard saying such things as, "He is so well educated and expresses himself so clearly that if you were talking to him on the telephone you would think he was white" ...

One day my uncle William was giving me a haircut in the kitchen while we watched the news on television when I saw white police unleashing ferocious dogs on groups of young black people and mowing them down with powerful water hoses. Even little children were being brutalized...

It wasn't just our inner-city neighborhood where racism flourished; I found it at school as well. [In] the eighth grade, for example ... I knew that my winning the [highest academic] award would have been an eye-opening experience for many people at Wilson Junior High School, since I was the only black student in the class... One of the other teachers was so upset about this that she literally chastised all the white students at the award ceremony in front of the entire school for allowing a black student to outperform them academically. The scene is depicted in the movie about my life, Gifted Hands, although in reality she ranted and raved a lot longer than the movie suggested...

 

 

January Blog Highlights: Top 7 Posts, other Posts of Note

 

January saw a flurry of posts on the blog, and I (Adam) will do my best to keep it up. Here are highlights from the month.  

 

Top 7 Posts from January

Ranked by reader traffic and feedback.

1. Does Fiction Lie? Thoughts on Truth & Christian Storytelling This post caused a bit of a stir. A reader submitted a question about whether fiction is valid for Christians, and the story-lover in blogger Adam Forrest was unleashed...

2. King Jesus, His Gospel, and Us - Coverage of N.T. Wright's provocative session at the January Series of Calvin College. Basically, Wright says, we're not listening to the whole song...

3. Small Group Videos Galore - Over 50 of our small group videos are on YouTube for free. Learn where to find them.

 

4. Plan B: My Secret Terra Cotta Army - Mark Hall (@MarkHallCC) tells the bizarre true story of Chinese emperor Qin, and how he's not so different from you and me. Excerpt from The Well.

5.  History-Making Prayer & the Legend of the Circle-Maker - Mark Batterson (@MarkBatterson) tells the legend of Honi, the circle-drawing, history-changing pray-er. Excerpt from The Circle Maker.

6. The Hitchhiker and the Blue Jeans (A Surprise Blessing) Author Andrea Palpant Dilley shares a hitch-hiking story she'll never forget. (I bet you won't, either.) Excerpt from Faith and Other Flat Tires.

7. Do Not Judge? Jesus on "Using a Good Measure"  Lois Tverberg (@LoisTverberg) on what Jesus really meant when he talked about judging others. Excerpt from her new book Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus.

10 More Posts of Note

1. Martin Luther King & Jeremiah the Prophet - The similarites between the prophet and MLK are considerable, as shown by Jeremiah experts Tremper Longman III and David E.

2. Sloth, aka "The Noonday Demon" An experiment in personifying sloth, so we may more easily detect it in ourselves and resist it.

3. Eight Surprising Ideas about Humility + Joe Louis's Punching Power A post inspired by the boxing champion and the writing of John Dickson (@johnpauldickson), whom I personally believe is on his way to becoming a heavyweight champion of biblical scholarship.

 

Do Not Judge? Jesus on Using a Good Measure [Excerpt by Lois Tverberg]

 

(Excerpt from Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewish Words of Jesus Can Change Your Life by Lois Tverberg.)

 

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Mt 7:1 NIV

Few sayings of Jesus have caused more frustration than his words about judging. From everything else Jesus taught, we know Jesus wasn't telling us just to turn a blind eye to sin. So we struggle to find a way to sort out sin without actually calling it that, so that we won't sin by judging. Or we just file this line in the "impossible" category, like "love your enemy" — it sounds great and preaches well, but it's well nigh impossible to actually live out.

 

Learn More

But this teaching of Jesus grows much more applicable when we hear how it fits into the wider conversation going on among Jewish thinkers. From centuries before Jesus was born "judging" has been a topic of discussion, filtering down through the millennia to inform Jewish practice right up to today. Jesus was, in fact, building on some wise thinking and bringing it to a new level.

 

"Judging" in Jewish Thought

In about 120 BC, Yehoshua ben Perachia, one of the earliest rabbinic sages, shared the following wisdom: "Judge each person with the scales weighted in their favor." The saying evokes the imagery of the ancient marketplace, where a merchant measures out grain by pouring it into one pan of a hanging scale until it swings level with the weighted side. A friendly shopkeeper will heap a little extra on, letting the pans tilt past the balance point. The idea is that you should "weigh" the deeds of others on the side of generosity. Simply put, give others the benefit of the doubt...

 

Vintage balance scales in Spain. Image by L.Miguel Bugallo Sánchez, more info in footer.

 

Jesus employed a similar metaphor about judging: "A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" (Luke 6:38). Jesus too says that we should let our scales of justice fall past the balance point, bestowing on others a little more than they deserve...

In almost every situation, a person can either look for a good or a bad motive behind other people's behavior. The way you choose to interpret others' motives has a profound effect on the way you react to them. Personally, I've found that when I make a habit of trying to "judge favorably," it transforms me into a kinder, more patient person. My attitude grows more loving when I assume the best instead of the worst about the people around me.

Jesus too says that we should let our scales of justice fall past the balance point, bestowing on others a little more than they deserve...

I'm still working on putting this into practice, but imagine the possibilities if I consistently looked at other people in the best possible light... When I heard someone insulting my faith, I might say, "That person must have had a bad experience with the church in order to make him feel that way."

 

 Truly, this small practice can change your entire outlook on life.

 

Question: What's your gut reaction to Jesus' words about judging others favorably?
(A) It's not fair!
(B) Jesus wasn't talking about the jerk I'm dealing with...
(C) It's a sobering lesson.
(D) I can vouch that this brings joy.
Leave your thoughts in a comment on this post.

 

Learn More

Learn more about Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus.
Follow Lois Tverberg on Twitter (@LoisTverberg)

- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

(Images & some styling above are web-exclusive features not included in the text of Walking in the Dust... Image attribution: By L.Miguel Bugallo Sánchez. (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Lmbuga) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons. This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Joe Louis's Punching Power + 8 More Surprising Ideas about Humility

 

What people come to mind when you think about humility?

How about former Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World, Joe Louis?

No? This true story from John Dickson's book Humilitas: A Lost Key to Life, Love, and Leadership will change your mind:

 

Three young men hopped on a bus in Detroit in the 1930s and tried to pick a fight with a lone man sitting at the back of the vehicle. They insulted him. He didn't respond. They turned up the heat of the insults. He said nothing. Eventually, the stranger stood up. He was bigger than they had estimated from his seated position — much bigger. He reached into his pocket, handed them his business card and walked off the bus and then on his way. As the bus drove on the young men gathered around the card to read the words: Joe Louis. Boxer. They had just tried to pick a fight with the man who would be Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World from 1937 to 1949, the number one boxer of all time, according to the International Boxing Research Organization (second on the list is Muhammad Ali). Here is a man of immense power and skill, capable of defending his honour with a single, devastating blow. Yet, he chooses to forgo his status and hold his power for others — in this case, for some very fortunate young men...

Now, I'll admit I was surprised by some of Dickson's ideas in Humilitas. But the more I read, the more Dickson demonstrated that his case makes good logical & biblical sense.

 

Failure's Not Fatal: The Latest Chapter in God's Good News [Excerpt by David Garland]

 

Learn More

(Excerpt from NIV Application Commentary: Mark [eBook] by David E. Garland.)

 

God is a God of beginnings. The good news of Mark is that God begins again with the chosen people by sending his Son.

At the end of the Gospel ... things look far more gloomy. The women slink away from the empty tomb and are mute from fear [See Mark 16].

 

They thought the story was over. Instead they found an empty tomb, and a new part to play. See Mark 16.

Failure, denial, and fear are not the end of the story, however. When things seem to end, there is a new beginning. The gospel is good news because one can begin again.

 

God is the one who consistently makes something out of nothing.

One may wonder how these discredited disciples could ever emerge as leaders of a growing church and fulfill their mission, but we know that their failure was not fatal. Neither is ours. God is the one who consistently makes something out of nothing. What seems like the end, and a pathetic one at that, is only a new beginning. God will continue to work with and revive the people.

 

Mark makes it clear that "the church exists because of what God has done in Christ, not because of any outstanding abilities in its first members." The gospel proclaims that the one "who began a good work in [us] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6)...

 

How will we continue the story?

Christianity is not a closed book, and Christian readers are the latest chapter in a continuing story of God's good news. The question for us is ... the same as it was for those early disciples, "Where do we go from here?" The next stage is up to us. How will we continue the story? Will we cower in fear or boldly proclaim the glad tidings of Jesus to the world?

 

Learn More

Learn more about NIV Application Commentary: Mark eBook

 

Question for Discussion: Did the first disciples have any advantages over us in sharing the gospel? Do we have any advantages over them? Leave your comments on this post.

- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

(Images & some styling above are web-exclusive features not included in the text of NIVAC Mark eBook. Image attribution: From "An Illustrated Commentary on the Gospel of Mark" by Phillip Medhurst. Section Z. the empty tomb. Mark 16:1-8. By Philip Devere [FAL], via Wikimedia Commons. This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Small Group Videos Galore: Watch Over 50 Full Bible Study Sessions for Free

 

Have you ever watched a trailer for a movie, then watched the movie, only to realize the trailer collected all the best parts, or it told you nothing about the movie's real plot? While curriculum trailers aren't exactly like that, sometimes watching a two-minute trailer just won't tell you if you want to spend 4-12 weeks with the topic, or study, or author.

Watching the complete first session of the curriculum is a great indicator of what the rest of the sessions will be like. That's why we're making the first sessions of our video-based curriculum available for free on YouTube.

 

Today we have 50-plus full video sessions loaded on the playlist (zndr.vn/curriculumvideos). We will continue to add more until there's video available from every group study that Zondervan publishes.

Now you can watch full curriculum sessions from bestselling authors like...

• Andy Stanley (Watch "Really?" from Your Move)
• Anne Graham Lotz (Watch "He's Coming!" from Expecting to See Jesus)
• Bill Hybels (Watch "The Whisper-led Life" from The Power of a Whisper)
• Craig Groeschel (Watch "The God Kind of Weird" from WEIRD)
• Gary Thomas (Watch "God's Purpose of Marriage" from Sacred Marriage)
• Jim Cymbala (Watch "God's Heart for Us" from When God's People Pray)

 

• John Ortberg (Watch "Discovering the Spirit" from The Me I Want to Be)
  
• Mark Batterson (Watch "Becoming a Circle Maker" from The Circle Maker)
• Lysa TerKeurst (Watch "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl...In My Heart"
• Margaret Feinberg (Watch "God Rising" from Pursuing God's Love)
• Max Lucado (Watch "When God's Story Becomes Yours" from God's Story, Your Story)
• and others

 

If you like what you see, you can visit Amazon, CBD.com, BN.com or your local retailer and get the DVD and Participant's Guides for yourself and your small group.

 

Tips for Small Group Members

1. Share the videos with your small group via Facebook to discuss what you might want to study.
2. Subscribe to the YouTube playlist (http://zndr.vn/curriculumvideos) because more videos are coming soon.
3. Most of all, enjoy!

 

- Chris Fann, Zondervan Curriculum Marketing

 

(This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's opinions are their own, and are shared for information purposes only. To receive new blogposts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Re:Word Weekly (1.27.2012) - Women & the Man/Boy Problem, Hubbub over Evolution, More

 

Re:Word is our weekly roundup of useful, enriching and fascinating articles that regard words or the Word. This is where you readers, leaders, writers & creators can bring your hungry minds to roost. You'll probably make some new connections — not unlike the innovative spiders who are quickly redefining "web" in the trees below.

 

Image courtesy of National Geographic. I'm not making light of these conditions, caused by a flood in Sindh, Iran. Learn more in this Facebook post from the Earthian.

 

Stories from the Week

1. How women fuel the man/boy problem, a post on the Her.meneutics blog by Ruthie Dean (via @rickwarren)

 

2. Find out about low literacy in America. A lot of surprises in here. For example,

"Two-thirds of those who admitted having reading difficulties had never told their spouse; 19% had never told anyone."

(Article via @Contents. Contents Magazine is a delightful digital publication "devoted to content strategy, online publishing, and new-school editorial work.")

 

3. The church talks endlessly about family but is silent about our day jobs, says pastor & author Skye Jethani (@skye_jethani, author of The Divine Commodity). Is this why 20-somethings leave the church? Read It's Back to (a Theology of) Work We Go

 

4. For bloggers: 25 Reasons Google Hates Your Blog is a helpful summary on best practices for keywords, internal linking, and other aspects of search engine optimization (via @Problogger ).

 

5. Hubbub over Genesis, creation, and evolution!  A bookseller named Louis blogged about evolution, then received backlash from a well-known champion of creationism. Louis responds with grace and good sense as he sets the record straight in My Views on Evolution - A Reply to My Critics.

 

- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

 

(This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer shares these personal opinions for information purposes only. To receive new blogposts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Grappling with Dark Spiritual Forces [Excerpt by Klyne Snodgrass]

 

(Excerpt from NIV Application Commentary: Ephesians [eBook] by Klyne Snodgrass.)

 

The Real Enemy

For our struggle is not against flesh & blood, but against the rulers... the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

Our struggle is not with humans; they are not the enemy... The way we carry on our battles is the most eloquent witness to our faith.

[This is relevant] for the way Christians respond in arguments over social issues like abortion and homosexuality... If we act in unchristian ways in rejecting sin, what have we become? Violence cannot be used to achieve good. An ancient Jew put it well: "The person trying to do right by violence is like a eunuch desiring to seduce a young woman" (Ecclesiasticus 20:4). Whether absolute pacifism is an option in a sinful world is debatable, but that Christians must be people of peace is not... 

Should Christians fear the 'spiritual forces of evil'?

The threat of danger exists, but this enemy is defeated, is not in control, and is limited in power. [And] the armor God uses to defeat evil is given to us. Why should we fear? We should experience courage for living because the enemy has been defeated...

 

Image: The full armor of God (See Ephesians 6:13-20), from a Bible printed in 1800.

Evil as Booby-trap
[Evil] always looks like something good for us, but it does not ask about God or other people, and it does not ask about long term effects. In the process the boundaries and values by which God orders life are distorted.

The spiritual forces of evil in Ephesians are trap setters, seeking to delude us into shifting the boundaries. Some traps we recognize easily, for we see the paths to destruction worn down by previous captives. Other traps we hardly notice, for we have accepted the revaluing. In most cases our choice is not between obvious evil and something good but between two seemingly good and right options. As Walter Wink points out, Satan watches our inclinations and throws us to the side to which we are leaning... Evil traps us with the good, only slightly out of bounds. Each choice slightly out of bounds redraws the boundaries until nothing remains of God's intent. That is why evil is deceptive and why we need to be alert...

 

The way we carry on our battles is the most eloquent witness to our faith.

How can we defend against evil?
By focusing on evil we destroy ourselves; by focusing on God we find life and protection. God deserves our attention; evil does not. In asking us to put on the armor of God, the text directs our attention away from evil and to God and his purposes... Christians do not need to worry about evil, for they know how to pray. [See Philippians 4:6–7]

Learn More

Be alert, yes, but don't worry or fear. Prayer is the key ingredient in being strong and alert...

Learn more about NIV Application Commentary: Ephesians eBook

 

Question for Discussion: Do you sometimes feel like your real battle is with other people? How would you counsel someone who feels like this?

- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

(Images & some styling above are web-exclusive features not included in the text of NIVAC Ephesians eBook... Image attribution: By Phillip Medhurst (Photos by Harry Kossuth) [Public domain {{PD-1923}}], via Wikimedia CommonsThis post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)

 

Can Telling the Truth Be Evil? [Excerpt by Lois Tverberg]

 

Learn More

(Excerpt from Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewish Words of Jesus Can Change Your Life by Lois Tverberg.)

 

Lashon Hara, aka Evil Tongue

What exactly is an "evil tongue"? [When the apostle Peter speaks of an "evil tongue" in 1 Peter 3:8-10, he's quoting Psalm 34:12–13.]

In Hebrew, lashon hara (lah-SHON ha-RAH) is the name that Judaism gives to all types of gossip, slander, and malicious speech...

 We all can see the wrongness of slander — telling lies about others. But believe it or not, we can also do great damage to others without lying. Lashon hara doesn't just include telling lies about others. In fact, this phrase is more commonly used to describe the practice of telling negative truths about others that are unnecessary and damaging.

 

Any sentence that starts with "She is a great person, but it's annoying when she..." is always going to end in lashon hara.

Lashon hara is recounting to your coworkers about how the boss messed up his presentation. It's pointing out to your wife how poorly the worship leader sings. It's complaining to your sister that your husband forgot your birthday yet again.

Any sentence that starts with "She's a great person, but it's annoying when she..." is always going to end in lashon hara. This habit tears down friendships, demeans others, and undermines trust... ["Sharing negative information is generally only permitted in situations where people may be adversely affected if they make a decision without it. For instance, if a friend is considering going into business with someone you know is dishonest." -From Lois's footnote.]

 

This sign in Jerusalem reads "Please no lashon hara." Image by Ranbar (cropped by Hidro) (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)...], via Wikimedia Commons.

 

If we genuinely care as much about others as ourselves, we will try to protect their reputations as much as we do our own.

We often justify our words with, "Well ... I didn't say anything untrue!" But the Golden Rule states that you shouldn't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. If you'd be hurt and embarrassed by having your own flaws revealed, you shouldn’t share those of others.

 

Why do we gossip about others? One major reason for lashon hara is our desire to elevate ourselves by tearing others down. Paul has a solution to this problem: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Philippians 2:3–4). If we genuinely care as much about others as ourselves, we will try to protect their reputations as much as we do our own.

 

Question for Discussion: When is it permissible to share information that would hurt someone's reputation? Leave your thoughts in a comment on this post.

 

Learn More

Learn more about Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus.
Follow Lois Tverberg on Twitter (@LoisTverberg)

- Adam Forrest, Zondervan

(Images & some styling above are web-exclusive features not included in the text of Walking in the Dust... This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer's personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.)